Shady

"Shady"  isn't homeless any more, thank goodness.  Nightwatch got him off the street, hopefully for good.  Meanwhile, he gives us endless entertainment.

Some knucklehead gave Shady's telephone number to their bank, then defaulted on the loan.  Every day or two, the bank calls Shady to find out if he's going to make good on his mortgage payment.  Problem is, Shady is on the bottom end of Social Security Disability payments.  He somehow manages to get by on $674 a month.  I'm willing to bet the guy who gave the bank Shady's phone number had a mortgage payment bigger than Shady's total take-home. 

You need something more to worry about when you're subsisting on nothing.

We asked Shady, "You ever have a mortgage?" 

"No," he replied. "But I had a dog once."

That's about as close as Shady got to owning anything.  That dog, and a few Elvis LPs.