Life at Kelly's
There was a guy in the bar who was always glowering at me.
This was about 15 years ago at the old Kelly's Tavern, a long-gone dive bar at
Third and Bell in Seattle. I never saw this guy talking to anyone, just nursing
a beer and looking a little menacing.
In other words, a perfect guy for me to connect with, or so
I thought.
For months he would see me across the bar, and watch me. I
never said anything to him, he never said anything to me, or to anyone for that
matter, except to order whatever draft beer was cheap.
After weeks of this, I had my perfect moment. Just as I walked into
Kelly’s, he walked into the men’s room. I could see where he left his beer
and back pack, so I settled in next to his spot with my diet Pepsi.
He comes back out, plops down next to me.
“Seen you around.”
“Yep.”
It went downhill from there. He responded to “internal
stimulus” as they say. Little green men were making sure we were unable to find
our way to the escape hatch through to the 4th dimension under our
flat earth. It was like uncorking a bottle of very colorful carbonated home
brew, which someone had set on a warm windowsill before shaking up. Once all
the foam had sprayed out, there was nothing left, so he bid me goodnight, and
moved on. Never saw him again.
For people who think there are easy answers to every social
ill, I want you to consider hanging out in a dive bar for a month or so.